Going down the Adoption route

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Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Mon 17 Aug 2009 - 10:15

Hi Everybody

My wife and I have recently gone through our second failed IVF attempt, and it looks like the chances of having our own child is very slim.

We have been discussing adoption, but we need more information. Can you perhaps send us information on the adoption process, and if possible, the likelyhood of adopting a white baby?

From what I can see, our chances dont look so good, but we have to start somewhere.

Is there a list of reputable adoption agencies that anyone knows about, or can someone point us in the right direction?

Thank you very much

Petrus

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by DJMommy on Mon 17 Aug 2009 - 10:30

Hi Petrus and welcome to the forum.

I am sorry that you and your wife have to go down this road. I dont have any info with regards to adoption, but I hope that someone else here can help you. Also, send a PM to Nattie. SHe has been down this road and has a beautiful girl to show for it! Good luc!

_________________


9x DIUI
3x Laparoscopies
1x Hysteroscopy
AMH: 0.6
1x IVF (Sept 09)
1st Beta 20/09/09: 208
2nd Beta 21/09/09:290
3rd Beta 25/09/09: 1985
4th Beta 29/09/09: 10318
TWINS!
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Boo (Sharmein) on Mon 17 Aug 2009 - 14:58

Hi Petrus.
Welcome to the group. Good luck with the new route you will be taking
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Hannah's Hope on Mon 17 Aug 2009 - 16:24

Hi Petrus,

Email me on hannahshope@24.com and I will send you all the information I have.

NEVER give up hope!!!! My husband and I are an example that adoption miracles DO happen. Our adoptive baby is being born within the next 3 months!!!! We waited for almost 3 years but it DID happen.

Warm regards
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Cmom on Mon 17 Aug 2009 - 17:05

Hi Petrus and welcome to the forum.

All the best on the road ahead I'm sure there r ladies here that can point u in the right direction.
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Bel on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 6:37

Welcome!

I am sorry to hear about your failed IVF attempts.

Good luck on the adoption route! Hope you get your bundle of joy.
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Dooi on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 9:18

Hi Petrus

We are also in the adoption process... good luck, a tough and hard road, but worth it at the end!
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 9:59

Thank you everybody for replying.

What is the difference in waiting when you want to adopt an older child vs a newborn?

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Dooi on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:03

I think a newborn is very "skaars".... they don't get adopted or available for adoption that often, exspecially the white babies. But and older child, must easier
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:14

Hi Dooi

Thanks for the prompt reply. If we are looking for older kids, should we also contact the social workers, or which route should we take?

Regards

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Dooi on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:20

I think going through the "right" paths of the adoption process is of utmost importance. The "on the side" stuff always gets you into situation you don't want to be in.
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:24

Im not following? What do you mean by the "on the side" stuff? Which is the right path to follow?

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Hannah's Hope on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:30

Hi Petrus,

I emailed you all the adoption information as requested.

Just a note from our experience: Whether you are adopting a white newborn or an older child, white children are extremely scarce and either way it just takes longer than with any other race. Obviously if you are willing to adopt a white child of 10+ years a child will be placed with you much quicker BUT the same selection criteria and processes apply.

It doesn't matter what way you look at it, adoption is an ardeous and intricate process BUT so worth it at the end!

Please let me know if you need any other information, I will gladly help.

Warm regards
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:36

Hi Hannah

Thank you very much for the information, I am busy going through it now.

Regards

Petrus

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Hannah's Hope on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:38

Always glad to help! Smiley

I know how difficult this road is, I had a zillion questions myself so it's great to be able to help someone else.

If you've got questions, fire away!!! wink

Warm regards
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:44

How long did you wait for your baby?

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Dooi on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 10:52

Hi Petrus.. I just meant don't do the adoption with SWs that is not registered... or a friend who knows friends whos friends sister is preggers or have a baby or child to adopt.
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 11:31

Ohh, OK. Nope... we want to do this the right way all the way.

Has anybody investigated international adoptions at all?

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Dooi on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 11:46

I know they are WAY TO EXSPENSIVE!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Ilze on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 11:48

Hi Petrus,

You can go and look at adoptionsa.co.za regarding internationale adoption. There is just a handful of agencies that work with international adoptions and be very carefull with who you work as there is alot of "cons" in this business. We look at internationale adoptions when we start our process but it was too expensive for us so we didn't go futher with that.

As Dooi said work with a reliable sw and you know everything is up to the book, if you doing private adoption just remember you still have to work through a sw and not just a laywer.

Good luck I hope your wait is not that long.
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Petrusk on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 11:50

Thats a bummer blink

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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Hannah's Hope on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 12:13

Hi Petrus,

We waited almost 3 years. Just a note, it doesn't matter if you get a baby through or a friend who knows friends whos friends sister is preggers or have a baby or whatever, as long as you involve your private social worker IMMEDIATELY. Even if the source for a baby is not always orthodox, involving the accredited SW means the adoption will be done by the book. Three of our friends got babies to adopt this way.

The same screening and procedures that are involved with domestic adoptions are involved with international adoptions. At the moment international adoptions cost around R400 000 but it can be a bit less or a lot more expensive. At the moment it takes very long and you almost always get an older baby (6 months plus).

Good luck!!

Hannah
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Dooi on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 12:24

Hannah's Hope wrote:
Just a note, it doesn't matter if you get a baby through or a friend who knows friends whos friends sister is preggers or have a baby or whatever, as long as you involve your private social worker IMMEDIATELY.

This was what I meant....
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Re: Going down the Adoption route

Post by Hannah's Hope on Tue 18 Aug 2009 - 12:38

Thanks Dooi! Us 'old timers' need to support guys like Petrus Thumbs Up
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