We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

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We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Hannah's Hope on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 11:13

Hi Ladies,

Firstly I would like to introduce myself: My name is Hannah and my husband is John. We have been TTC for 7 years.

After we got married almost 7 years ago, we decided to have a baby as soon as possible. We were surprised to find out that it wasn't going to happen for us. We went through years of different fertility treatments to no avail and we felt strongly guided to turn our focus to the adoption process. As a close-knit family unit it is our passion to make a difference in a child’s life that has a desperate need for emotional, spiritual, physical and financial care.

We have been screened, interviewed (including psychometric testing and home studies) and approved as adoptive parents by two accredited private social workers, specializing in adoption, one in Cape Town and one in Jo'burg.

We were put on both their waiting lists. Because of the fact that we are on a waiting list for an infant, we are fully geared should we receive a baby on short notice, e.g. cot, pram, changing station, car chair, compactum, nappies, clothes, toiletries, etc. The baby also has his/her own room! (Cont. on next post)
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Lilly on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 11:19

Hi Hannah!! Welcome to the family!!!! xx
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Tmom on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 11:23

Hi Hannah

:Welcome3: to OPM

Good Luck with the adoption

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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by DJMommy on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 12:13

Hi Hannah and welcome!!
I pray that you do get blessed soon!

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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Bel on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 12:19

Welcome Hannah!

Good luck with the adoption, hope you get a little angel soon.
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Dooi on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 12:36

Hi girlie, welcome... hope you get the call really soon!
x
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Sandy on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 13:04

:Welcome3: .
Pray that you do get blessed soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Boo (Sharmein) on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 13:09

Hi Girl

Welcome to OPM and good luck
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Hannah's Hope on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 14:28

Sorry, somehow this part never got posted:

On 6 August 2009 we got the call that changed our lives: A birthmother had chosen our profile and wants us to adopt her baby!!!!! It still feels unreal and yes, I am pinching myself every now and then.

We are meeting with the birthmom on Saturday (15 August). I am nervous and excited beyond words and my DH is just plain nervous. His a corporate and he says he has NEVER been so nervous in the business world before!!

I would appreciate any tips, advice, warnings etc. Preach it sisters and I promise, I will listen.

Our SW is flying in from Cape Town and I am fetching her from th airport tomorrow (we're in Jo'burg) for the counselling session with the birthmom and our meeting with them both on Saturday.

I realize you don't know me, but please pray for us. After TTC for 7 years, 6 IVF's, 4 miscarriages and being on the Adoption waiting list for almost 3 years we really need every single prayer we can get.

Thank you SO much for all the warm and friendly welcomes, so glad I found you gals!!

Warm regards,

Hannah
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Bel on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 14:31

Oh my word! How exciting. Good luck for Saturday, hope you knock her socks off!
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by DJMommy on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 16:07

Good luck!! You need to get hold of Nattie. SHe adopted a beautiful little girl. Send her a PM

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9x DIUI
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Guest on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 16:46

Welcome and good luck!

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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Ilze on Thu 13 Aug 2009 - 19:47

Hi Hannah, welcome to the family and congrats on the LO, may your little baby bring you and your husband the world of joy.
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Bobby on Fri 14 Aug 2009 - 8:54

Wow! How exciting for you and what an emotional rollercoaster, I'm sure. Everything will be fine on Sat. Soon you'll be holding your little bundle.

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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Haze on Fri 14 Aug 2009 - 11:00

Hi Hannah. Welcome to your other adopted family - OPM Smile Congratulations and i'm sure that everything will go well.

Praying that soon you'll be holding your baba that was grew and was born from your heart instead of your tummy!

Please keep us updated

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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Lilly on Fri 14 Aug 2009 - 11:27

WOW!!! that is fantastic news!!!! I am sure everything will go perfect!! Have you decided on a closed or open adoption? Also think you should get in touch with Nattie! Praying that this is it for you guys and that you'll be blessed with a little baby!!

Please keep us updated!!
xx
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Hannah's Hope on Fri 14 Aug 2009 - 17:10

Hi Gals!

I PM'ed Nattie - waiting to hear from her.

It is very definitely an open adoption (white caucasian). I have done many, many hours of research about adoption and by far almost all professionals agree that this is better for the adoptee in the long run. It may not be always comfortable for us as adoptive parents, but the child is more important than anyone else!

We will agree on the degree of openness tomorrow. My SW suggested 2 photos per month for the first 6 months, then 1 photo every 2 months until a year and after that a collage of photo's annually. I really don't mind sending emails/photo's as I do photography as a hobby, so I literally take thousands of photos. Would really not mind sharing them.

Another issue we will discuss is the BM's prenatal care as she is has NEVER been to a gynae or even a clinic since she found out she is pregnant!! My SW is going to try and arrange for us to go with ther for the first sonar so that we will know whether we're getting a boy or a girl.

My SW said that after tomorrow it will be a 100 % yes or a 100 % no, so in a way I am relieved that we will know for sure by tomorrow night. My SW has NEVER had 'comebacks' i.e. BM's changing their minds and taking their babies back. The reason for this is her absolute thorough and ongoing counselling - up to 3 months after the birt of LO. Of course we're paying, but that's one thing I will readily pay for.

The other things are a bit harder though. The BM has indicated that she wants quite substantial monetary support, but we can only pay her according the Children's Act (Adoption Law) which basically means we can only pay all her medical bills, fruits &veggies, vitamines etc. We are not allowed to pay her domestic worker, gardener, rent etc. But I'm confident that after my SW chats to her tomorrow she'll understand that no one will be able to do this for her legally.

Despite the fact that John and I are DESPERATE for a baby, we are not prepared to do anything unlawful and dishonest. We have acted with integrity and honesty all through our TTC journey and we are not about to disregard our own moral compasses. Of course there's a side of me that wants to give her R20 000 per month if that will keep her happy and then place her baby with us, but the voice of reason always wins!! Smile

Thanks SO much for your wonderful words of welcome and encouragement. Please say a prayer for John and I?

Will report back, I promise.

Warm regards
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Lilly on Fri 14 Aug 2009 - 17:32

Honesty is always the best option!! I am sure the this woman only wants what is best for her child, and sad as it is, adoption is best!
I had a friend(unfortunately we lost contact) had a baby girl and because of financial reasons she gave the little girl up for adoption. Also an open adoption, they send pictures on a regular basis. The adoptive parents, always made a point of visiting the BM, so since the birth 3 years ago, she got to see the little girl 3 times, but the BM stopped it, as it was to painful for her!
Wishing you all the best for tomorrow & I pray that you receive this precious gift! Cant wait for the wonderful news!!!!

xx
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Tammy on Sat 15 Aug 2009 - 5:55

oh Hannah, that first post brought tears to my eyes and a tingle down my body.

As im typing this im saying a pray and will continue throught the day.
All the best for all of you
Hugs
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Our miracle is happening!!!!

Post by Hannah's Hope on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 10:36

Hallo Ladies!!

Oh, I am so incredibly excited and thankful and over the moon!!!! We had a storybook meeting with our BM on Saturday Smile

We arrived at the venue and our SW met us outside. We then entered the room where the BM and her partner was. I entered first and both of them were sitting with their heads bowed down. I saw the BF first, but he didn't get up, so I walked around to the BM. The next moment she stood up and flung her arms around me. We held each other and hugged and cried for a minute or two and then the SW introduced me to the BF. John just shook hands as the BM looked very shy and the BF was already sitting down again.

I honestly thought it was going to be akward, but it really wasn't. I was VERY emotional Bawl Eyes Out and the BM and I bawled our eyes out, but after a while we settled down and started chatting. Our SW was absolutely amazing and facilitated the meeting in such a nice and professional way. She explained to the BP in front of John and I the journey that we had been on and then to us why the BP were placing the baby for adoption.

BRB.
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Our miracle is happening!!!! II

Post by Hannah's Hope on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 10:41

The birthmother was very shy and basically sat with her head bowed down the entire time. The BF was very forthcoming and told us that he was unemployed and even if he did get a job next week he can't take on the responsibility of a child for the next 18 years. The BM explained a bit later that she wants only the best for the baby, but that her other two children takes preference and that she needs to look out for them, hence she is placing the baby for adoption.

We spent about 2 hours talking and answering questions back and forth and then the BM said that she knew we were her baby's parents when she saw our profile! I just started crying again. John held my hand so tight that it was painful at a stage!!! To see my husband so overcome with emotion was an incredible moment and erased all doubt in my mind that he will be able to 'accept' the baby.

Afterwards we hugged again and as the BM hugged me I whispered in her ear: "You are an incredibly brave woman and I am so proud of you!! Hold on, I am always here for you." She said "Thank you, I am so glad you were sent to me".

I wish I could explain my emotions better, but words are just not enough....... It is just such an overwhelming thought that our baby is busy growing in this incredible woman's body!!!


Last edited by Hannah's Hope on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 10:57; edited 1 time in total
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Hannah's Hope on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 10:47

Just wanted to tell you as well: The birthmom is an absolute babe. She has the most amazing blue eyes and lovely curly hair. The dad is blonde with blue eyes as well. I think our baby is going to be a gorgeous angel!!!

We are going to the doctor for a check-up and scan as soon as I can get an appointment next week. When we have the scan we will also know whether it's a boy or a girl. Our BM is only 23 weeks pregnant, and not 28 like we thought. But that's good, it gives us a bit more time to get everything ready. We will get a more definite picture of the EDD next week.

Thank you so much for all our prayers and well wishes, I will definitely keep you posted.

I can not believe that our journey of 7 years is almost over, it's just so unbelievably unreal!!!!!

I am going on a HUGE shopping spree tomorrow!!

God is good ALL the time!!!!!

PS: Just got the most wonderful sms from BM: "Both **** and I just KNOW that you and John will be the most perfect parents for the baby. Thank you that you are our angels. I promise you, this baby is yours I am only the vehicle delivering it to you".
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Lilly on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 10:53

WOW! I am all goosebumps! this is wonderful news!!! I am so very happy for you guys!!!! xx
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by Landie on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 13:22

im in tears now!!! and goosebumps all over!!! good luck and im so happy for you!!
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Re: We got the call - maybe this is it after 7yrs TTC.......

Post by DJMommy on Sun 16 Aug 2009 - 15:29

Oh Hannah, this is wonderful news!! I am in tears reading this! Congratulations hun! Please continue to keep us updated!!!

x x x

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