I'm ready but Hubby not

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I'm ready but Hubby not

Post by Guest on Thu 16 Apr 2009 - 9:25

Hi Ladies
I'm so sad and have been for so long. We've been ttc for 6 years. Diagnosed with unexplained infertility. I fell preggies naturally in 2007 and miscarried at 9 weeks. My hearts desire is to have a baby even if it means adopting. I would so be able to love someone else's child as my own but the problem is that my husband is not ready. He still believes that I'll fall pregnant again and this is killing me and eating me up. How on earth does one make him understand that we can still adopt and not stop trying.

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Re: I'm ready but Hubby not

Post by nattie on Thu 16 Apr 2009 - 9:34

Jooles, you need give him time. I was ready to adopt LONG before my hubby was.

Sometimes men are ready before women are - we all need to go through the different stages of dealing with the fact that natural pregnancies are out of the question.

I suggest that you don't push him. Vent here on the forum, give him space and time.

The day my DH said that he would like to adopt I was armed with files of paperwork and agency options! I thew my everything into getting things ready and waiting till he was ready...

And we have never looked back - nearly a year later and we both ADORE our precious gift!

pm me if you want to chat off line - it sometimes helps talking to someone who has walked the road

Good luck and try and keep positive - I know it's hard sometimes :Worry

xxx
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Re: I'm ready but Hubby not

Post by Lilly on Thu 16 Apr 2009 - 9:35

shoe jooles this is a hard one, I have never bn in such a position, all I can do is offer support! BIG HUG!
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Re: I'm ready but Hubby not

Post by Ilze on Thu 16 Apr 2009 - 9:36

Pray, pray, pray, I always felt I couldn't convince hubby and I asked God to change his heart and then one day out of the blue after we went for counsilling and the pshygologist talked to him he came to me and told me he is ready to go on.

Sometimes men think if they adopt it will make then less man but that is something only he can work out in his head.

Good luck, hope he change his mind soon, maybe you should try to get both of you to counselling in the end its really helpfull.
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Re: I'm ready but Hubby not

Post by Guest on Thu 16 Apr 2009 - 11:43

Thanks ladies for your support.

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Re: I'm ready but Hubby not

Post by Dooi on Fri 17 Apr 2009 - 9:02

Girlie, I'd say give him a bit more time.. my dh was like that as well. just wait another month, then that month becomes years... and now... out of the blue he said he's ready for adoption.... so don't loose hope, he'll soon realise that it's a good thing!!!

Good luck, hope and pray he tells you soon!!
xxx
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