Are you living for a baby, or living for God?

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Are you living for a baby, or living for God?

Post by Ilze on Sat 7 Mar 2009 - 9:36

I got this from another forum - something to think about... (sorry for the long post)

Are you living for a baby, or living for God?

That may seem like a harsh question. Perhaps you may even think it is absurd! But on close reflection, I think you’ll agree that it’s not as ridiculous a suggestion as we might think… I believe it’s one we need to ask ourselves regularly, in this IF journey.

There’s so much pressure out there to focus all our energy, attention, money…everything we have, in the desperate attempt to have a baby. We try and justify our thoughts by telling ourselves that if the end result is a baby, it doesn’t matter what we do or what we go through to get there. After all, it’s what God intended. Right? He owes us a baby. Right? It’s every woman’s prerogative. We were born for motherhood. Right? Is it right?(**)

I think often we can get so consumed with the pursuit of a baby that what is right can get pretty hazy. We talk ourselves into a mindset that we believe is acceptable. Yet I wonder if all too often we forget that Jesus is to be our LORD. That means in control. And not just the part of our lives that we feel like surrendering to Him, but all parts of our lives. Including our desires for a baby. Challenging, isn’t it! And rather uncomfortable. But what does it mean in practice?

In Romans 12:1 and following, we are instructed …”by the mercies of God… present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Hey! Isn’t that what we are always wanting in our IF journey?! - to discern the will of God? Well there we have it…loud and clear.

This command may seem impossible, and unrealistic. “Give my desire for a baby to God? Completely?? I can’t do that! I need to do something! I need to be involved. I can’t give Him control. Not complete control.” Ever thought these things? I know I have! I think I am trusting the Lord with my dreams for a baby and then- “Wham!!” It hits me again that I give to Him but I don’t let go…I keep holding on and pulling back and not trusting totally. It’s easier that way. After all, we know what’s best for us, right? What if God’s “perfect plan” is not what I want? What if His plans are totally not my idea for my future?? Scary!

I wonder how many of us have ever considered the thought that a baby may not be God’s plan for us? “ Come on, ” you’re saying, “ we have IF…what kind of a question is that?? Of course we have thought of that! It’s the thought that plagues us every day!!!” But have we really considered that? I mean, yes, we can’t conceive…but we still think we are owed that baby, right? We believe it will happen, one day…we just don’t know when…and wish it would happen sooner, rather than later. But it will happen- if not biologically then we will adopt. One way or the other, we will have those kids eventually. (**)

You know, that may well be the case… and it may be a wonderful unfolding of God’s plans in our lives, as we have witnessed for so many of our dear sisters here at HP. If this is what God has planned for our particular lives, than it will be a wonderful gift indeed. But I think we need to be willing to place everything on the altar- even those dreams. Yes, it may be what the Lord has in store for us. But it may not too. Are we willing to accept no for an answer?

What if God has things planned for us that would never be possible with children? He may have amazing plans to bless us with kids. But what if He has something else in mind for us? What if His perfect plans for us include serving Him in other ways? Are we able to obey? Or are going to fight Him all the way to heaven?

The point is, we need to consider God in everything we do. Spending time with Him in His word, pouring our hearts out to Him in prayer, growing as we do to offer every part of our lives as a sacrifice to the Lord. Allowing the Lord’s words, not the world’s words, to transform our minds.

You see, the Lord has already given us so much. He gave His Son that we might live. He has offered us forgiveness, restoration with Him, and given us all the purpose we need….to live a life pleasing to Him and to share His wonderful message with others. So often we can get so weighed down by our IF struggles that we forget that. We become so focussed on what we want that we forget what He wants.

Are our perspectives hazy? What do we think life is about? Do our current lives reflect our answer to that question?

I don’t think that the biggest tragedy our IF struggles would be if we ended up without children. I think the biggest tragedy would be if we threw away our lives for the pursuit of that child. If we spent our whole lives living for a baby rather than living for our precious Savior. What a slap in the face to our Lord, to accept His salvation, but neglect to spend our lives living in a way that shows how thankful we are. And we all know how miserable it is when we take our eyes off Him and focus on ourselves.

There is so much work to be done for the Lord!!! So many opportunities to glorify Him. “The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few.” Luke 10:2 So many people need to hear about the Lord. What could be a better way to spend our days! I know I need reminding of this constantly! If we are never given the blessing of children on earth, how awesome to think that we’d helped people come into a relationship with the Lord- our “ spiritual” children!

Dear sisters, we never know when the Lord will return. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. He may not return until we have lived a long life and passed away…but let’s encourage one another to have Christ focussed lives, so that when that day comes we can know that we have lived our lives for Him.

The thing is, although it seems totally unnatural, undesirable, even unachievable, to let go and give our dreams to God, His instruction for us to do just that is actually a gift. For when we can truly surrender, that unattainable peace becomes reality... That unattainable fulfilment and longing and desire is replaced with the satisfaction and contentment that only God can give. That misery and struggle is replaced with the joy of the Lord- not a fake bouncy happiness when things are tough, but a deep inner joy that comes from knowing that things are right with you and the Lord, He is in control, and He is good.

God is good! Do we believe that? When our loved ones die, our funds are low, our health is poor, our friends have abandoned us…when we don’t have a baby…God is good! He is you know! And we can depend on Him.

I know this is long so I’ll try and wrap it up by sharing what helps me keep these things in mind. The Bible says that God has given everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him. (2 Peter 1:3) So to know what pleases Him we need to know Him. And we know Him by reading His word. Great motivation to read it more, huh! I often struggle to read my Bible on a regular basis, and so I like to remember that for motivation!

And a great thing to do when struggling to trust the Lord and give everything to Him is to focus on His unchanging character. Maybe spend some time focussing on God’s attributes today. Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever! (Hebrews 13:8)

Thanks for reading what the Lord has laid on my heart. It’s a privilege to learn from Him together, with you, my precious sisters-in–Christ.

Please help me remember these things.Let's keep posting messages asking each other "what are you living for today?” I can honestly say that these thoughts I have shared above are lessons that have transformed my life. It’s incredible how it has affected how I cope with IF. I need reminding of what truly matters.

Praying for us all that we might be Christ focused and live lives that glorify our risen LORD.

Love,hugs n prayers,
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Re: Are you living for a baby, or living for God?

Post by Kim on Mon 30 Mar 2009 - 5:54

this brought tears to my eyes ... thanks for the eye-opener

Verse: 2 Corinthians 4:18

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

- Isn't it strange how we can become consumed with irrelevant things?
- We often live as though life on earth will never end.
- In the process we place emphasis on the wrong things.
- We must remember that we are spiritual beings having an earthly experience.

PRAYER: Lord, I will fix my eyes on You! I will remember that I am an eternal spiritual being and I will not be consumed by temporary or irrelevant things. Amen.
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