Encouraging or Scarring?

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Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Doogz on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 6:34

HI mommies!
I know its been ages since Iv posted here!
I really need some advice?
Brit started her swimming again this year ... at the beginning she loved it & couldn't wait to go... then they started diving exercises & she hated it... cried that she didn't wanna go swimming every Monday & Wednesday... so I spoke to the instructor (she picks them up from school & drops them after the lesson) & she said that she will give her extra help with it.
which she did & then she was fine for a short while... now they have started a new exercise which she doesn't like & she is back to crying & does not want to go swimming! :Worry 
This morning she cried the entire time... even when we went to school... her teacher says she will talk to her.... what I want to know is... am I encouraging her by sending her to swimming even though she doesn't want to go (I give her pep talks & encouragement about it all the time) or am I scarring her.... will she form a fear of it? Dunno 
TIA
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Tanja on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 7:57

Maybe there is something going on at the swimming that makes her feel uncomfortable.
Maybe look into that matter first.
Sorry I'm very insecure when it comes to things like that.

It happened with Denique as well as few years ago where she didn't want to go to school, and it turned out that there was a little boy that was touching her.
When that matter was resolved she didn't mind to go to school again.
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by D on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 8:47

I agree with Tanja .... I dont think a person can ever be too sure. Also - my opinion is not to force a child to do anything. By this I mean hobbies and not the day to day stuff that have to do with discipline. You know what is best for your daughter - but I would not force my daughter if she told me she didnt want to do the lessons any more.
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Haz on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 8:59

I agree with D and Tanja - however I dont see swimming as a hobby, it's a LIFE SKILL that you have to have, if it was dancing or something else then i'd say leave it but not being able to dance is not life threatining, falling into a pool and not being able to swim is.

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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Doogz on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 11:18

Thank you... I will ask her more questions as to why ... but so far its that she does not like the new exercises...
I agree with you Haze... she needs to learn swimming... that is extremely important I have spoken to her instructor & she says nothing happened to make her feel insecure about swimming but she did notice that she doesn't like exercises that she finds difficult.
Im thinking of taking her on a weekend were I can see whats happening rather than sending her on her own...
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by LilianJ on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 11:36

Doogz I was going to suggest that you rather go with her.. Maybe she will feel a little more confident? Maybe she just feels put of place?

I have found that if Zeke does not like something that is difficult then he just wont do it and he will cry and get frustrated. But when he does get over it then he is fine..

Maybe she is just a little frustrated with the exercises?
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Adele S on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 11:44

I would wait a bit and try again later on.

My mom took me for swimming lessons and apparently one day they taught us something and the lady pushed my head under water (I could be wrong but this is what I vaguely remember), I didn't want to go back, and my mom must have stopped taking me. My dad later on taught me how to swim and swimming pool safety etc.


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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Honey on Wed 26 Mar 2014 - 12:08

With Haz on this one...
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Joleen on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 10:49

Don't push the issue. Mine do swimming at school and two weeks ago due to Erin having had an eye op she was nervous to go back into the water so I asked her why. They put floaters in the back of their costumes. Turned out the teacher had her using one and she wanted two again. So back we went to two and she is enjoying swimming again. I believe don't push. Ask the teacher if she can watch. Often seeing the other kids spurs them on. Wade was jumping into the water with no arm bands whilst my friend's hubby was in the pool. I asked Erin she said no. Ten minutes later, she hopped out the pool and also wanted to try.

my opinion
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Kerryw on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 11:31

Also you could try a different swim school. It is a difficult situation as you dont want to give in to manipulation but also dont want to put her off swimming (especially in Durban Smile ).

GL
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Doogz on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 11:35

thanx ladies... after much deliberation & an incident yesterday... Iv decided to take her out of swimming lessons with that instructor & try & find someone on weekends...
this incident brought up another issue for me... I had spoken to her instructor on Monday about taking her out... & she insisted it was a new lesson thing & that she would talk to Brit & encourage her more, so I said fine I will send her again on Wednesday....
Wednesday came & I have explained how Brit cried the entire time so I explained the situation to her teacher who said she will talk to Brit... & when I had called the school she was fine... I also messaged the instructor later on to see how it went... & she told me that Brit was good & all went well & that I must tell Brit that she said that Brit had done really well & she was proud of her... I was delighted ofcos! But when I fetched Brit from school & told her what swimming instructor had told me to tell her... Brit say... "no mommy ... miss K was angry with me..." so I said she told me that she was proud of you? then Brit replies that miss k was lying... & that she told her she doesn't want to hear her whining & moaning about swimming again & she has taken her out of the pool & put her on the side to sit so hard that she hurt her bum....
now I know Brit would not make that up... esp since she told me straight away... I did message miss k to ask her... she had read the message & not responded... anyhoo Im going to discuss this further with the teachers...
question is do I tell them exactly what Brit told me... to prob save other kids from being treated that way or do I just take her out & leave it ... as to not inform other moms and cause drama?
OR I am I being to dramatic about it...cos I really would like to punch that miss k in her face right now?
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by elleznom on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 11:49

Well, I'll help you punch and then print flyers for all the parents to read.  Devilish 

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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Kerryw on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 11:50

That does sound strange I would bring it up and move Brit out. I am sure with winter comming up you should be able to find a place somewhere else.
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Haz on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 11:51

I'd go to the school principal and ask for a meeting with the teacher and confront her infront of the principal.


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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Doogz on Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 11:53

Thanx Monz... Im so angry
Im def taking her out of there...
Haz she doesn't work for the school at all... she picks the kids up for swimming & brings them back to school.... but the school principal will def here what happened today!
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Re: Encouraging or Scarring?

Post by Adele S on Fri 28 Mar 2014 - 6:33

I would take her out and just put the swimming on the back burner for now. Look for someone else in time and get Brit to want to go again when she is ready.

I will confront the teacher too.

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