Nicholas wont poo in the loo

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Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Wed 15 May 2013 - 11:48

So reading Tanja's post about the bed wetting, I thought I may as well put this out there and see if anyone else has or is having the same problem...

Nicholas has been wearing undies in the day since january (just over 3 years old). I had tried to potty train him before but he wasnt ready. When he started at nursery school, I left him in nappies for about a week and then his teacher said we should try since all the other kids in his class were potty trained already - bearing in mind that some of them turned three in the middle of last year and Nicholas only turned three on the 18th of december. he may as well be a january baby.

Anyhoo, the wees went well - think weve have three or four wee accidents. But the poos are another story. he had made one poo in the toilet. The rest he has continued making in his undies. Typically he would wait til he got home from school to drop a load. Which is fine. Horrible for me to have to clean up but at least it was a "family secret". Now hes started just crapping in his pants at school as well. At least once a week he comes home with his clothes in a plastic bag strapped to his bag.

I have tried EVERYTHING. I got a reward chart and promised stars and gifts if he poos in the loo. I have tried watching him like a hawk til I see the face contorting then I grab him and run to the loo. But as you know it is not humanly possible to be there watching for the face every minute of the day. I have even - and I am embarrassed about this - smacked him for it. I know you arent supposed to smack or shout but I have resorted to trying all kinds of things. BUT NOTHING WORKS.

Has anyone else had this problem? Please if you have tell me what I can do to get him to understand when a poo is coming and go to the loo. I have thrown away so many undies which have been just too disgusting to try and clean. I have cried. I have ranted and raved. I have tried positive reinforcement. I have tried explaining nicely. I really dont know what to do
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Joleen on Wed 15 May 2013 - 12:11

i want to laugh and I know it is not funny but oh my word, nobody said raising kids was easy and no two days are ever alike.

I had a friend whose daughter would not poo in the loo. She had to have a nappy on and would go stand in a corner to poo. Won't he do that perhaps?
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Wed 15 May 2013 - 12:17

Nope I wish! One of my friend's son also wont poo in the loo but he asks for a nappy and does his business in that. Then back into undies.

Not my son - no. He just poos in his undies and sommer carries on playing. It doesnt bother him. On rare occasions he comes and tells me he's made a poo.

I seriously dont know what to do about it. I asked his teacher and she said ag some kids just take longer... Then I asked if I should put him back in nappies and she said no as that will set him back...

So I am stuck waiting for the wind to change and hopefully change this situation at the same time.

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Joleen on Wed 15 May 2013 - 12:23

I know this sounds gross but what if you left him in it for a little longer and perhaps he will feel uncomfortable? Try making him wash his undies outside, perhaps that will deter him?
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Haz on Wed 15 May 2013 - 12:42

ha ha ha Gabby - I had the same problem with D, and then I tried asking him not to poop in his pants but it backfired becasue he refused to poop in a nappy, potty or a toilet and would get so badly constipated, it was to sore for him to poop and it just went around and around in circles - the poor thing was to scared to poop cos it was sore...

What I did (and its VERY gross BUT it worked) was I told him to go and poop in the garden if he needed to.... I also sang a song with him...

"I feel it, I feel it...
When you need to poo, you know just what to do
Oh when you need to poo
Go and sit on the loo and make your poo"

we made a huge show of the poo - Dad had to come and look and I had to pretend I was gagging because it was THEE stinkest poop and only BIG boys can make such a stinky poop

Then we washed hands and did a silly dance.

We only looked at the poop and did a dance if he pooped in the toilet... he also got a smiley face and when he got 10 smiley face's - I'd take him for an ice cream at mc donalds.

Eventually he pooped in the garden and then we moved to having the potty in the garden and now we are happily poopin in the toilet.

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Wed 15 May 2013 - 12:59

how old was he when he started poo-ing in the loo Haze?
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Haz on Wed 15 May 2013 - 13:04

about 3 and a half.


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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Lilly on Wed 15 May 2013 - 13:04

Ahh Gabs, in a way I know how you feel, W is still in nappies (turning 3 in July) is he ready? I have no freaking idea. He takes his nappy off, its a daily battle to keep his pants and nappy on and I am so tired of scooping up poop from the floors! is disgusting and I am ashamed. I have tried everything incl potty training!!!!
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Kerryw on Thu 16 May 2013 - 14:22

boys and toilets are a problem.

Connor was scared of the toilet and the otty for a long while, so I waited for summer to train him in the garden then we moved indoors.

What I found hleped with the potty training was letting them watch dad doing. the three of them would line up in the garden and wee! the poo was even more entertaining.

All this is so had to figure out.

thinking of you Gabby and Lilly
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Lilly on Thu 16 May 2013 - 15:50

Thanks kerry, hoping that his clothes stay on now that its starting to get cold! but potty training starts in Oct he'll be 3 years and 3 months
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Fri 17 May 2013 - 7:00

Well my heart is breaking today because I have made the hard decision to put him back in nappies.

While his teacher said not to as she worried it might set him back, another teacher advised me to try him with pull ups. This after they had both had to clean him up after a particularly disgusting poo yesterday before I fetched him.

She says all kids are different and he maybe just isnt ready. So I put him in pull ups yesterday afternoon and told him he musnt poo or wee in his special pants.

He still tells me when a wee is coming and potters off to the loo for his wee. I just hope and pray this doesnt set him back. I dont know if I am doing the right thing. I just hope and pray he one days says no more nappies and just gets it right. Miracles do happen hey?

Another thing she said I could try is put boxers on him or no undies at all. So that when he poos it slides down his leg and makes him feel uncomfortable....

I just think that would be terribly messy and I dont want that happening at school. So I might try that out this weekend at home.

My heart is very sore. Why cant my boy just get this right?
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Lilly on Fri 17 May 2013 - 7:05

I am sorry Gabs, I have no advice! big hug
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by LilianJ on Fri 17 May 2013 - 7:08

Oh Gabby... Hugs

I dont know what to tell you..
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Haz on Fri 17 May 2013 - 8:35

Gabby there is a product at dischem - I can't remember the name but it's in a green box, with a bit of yellow and orange, the box almost looks like a box of tissues. They are called "Dry Like Me"

Basically they look like a sanitary pad, you put them in their underpants so that if there is a poop etc you just remove the pad... So he can still wear his underpants.




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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Fri 17 May 2013 - 8:50

I will try that thanks Haze.

Do you think I am doing the wrong thing putting him back in pull ups?
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Haz on Fri 17 May 2013 - 8:55

I think parenting is so difficult - whatever you do someone will say something and sadly its other mothers that are the worst judges when they are the ones that know how hard it is.

I honestly think you know Nicholas best, you know his personality better than anyone else and if you think it is going to put him back and mess with his confidence then don't put them back on...

I think you need to weigh up how he feels when he poops in his pants vs what putting him back in nappies does to his confidence...

Screw the teachers and them having to clean up poop, its part of being a pre school teacher.

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Fri 17 May 2013 - 9:27

The thing is he doesnt seem to care - doesnt car when he poos in his pants... also wasnt phased when I put the nappy on him.

He is so min gepla about things. I mean cameron would have been devastated if he poo-ed in his pants... Nicholas just carries on regardless.
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Haz on Fri 17 May 2013 - 9:35

sometimes its easier to just go "with the flow" with them.

If its less stressful for all of you for him to be in a nappy, and he's cool with it, then put him in a nappy.

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Fri 17 May 2013 - 9:47

I guess so. That is what I thought yesterday. Just go with it. I will know when he is ready.

My heart is just sore about it...
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Haz on Fri 17 May 2013 - 10:03

Sorry :Sad Its not easy

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Kerryw on Mon 20 May 2013 - 7:32

Sorry Gabby it can be embarrasing when you child seems behind the others in things like potty training. But as someone pointed out to me he won't be in nappies when he gets to big school and that is what counts.

We had troubble with Connor not being ready but he is fine now at 4yrs

I think when you look back it will seem like such a short period of time that you had to wait extra that you will wonder why it was such a big stress.

Perhaps you should get those pull up nappies so he can wee in the toilet adn just use them to Poo then it will not be so expensive.
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by emerald on Mon 20 May 2013 - 10:08

I think that eventually they just do it when they are read. With C he started going to the loo with no problem but J refused to. I did not push him and eventually he just started tell me when he wanted to poo and i took him. Let him do it in his time, don't push him

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by Gabby on Mon 20 May 2013 - 10:45

Well he has been back in pull ups since friday. He still goes and wees in the loo which I am glad about as that tells me wearing pull ups wont set him back on the wee perspective. But he still poos in his nappy.

I just wonder if having that pull up there is just a safety net for him - will he ever learn to poo in the loo as long as he has his safety net?
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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by elleznom on Mon 20 May 2013 - 10:50

I know my SIL's son also refused to poo in the loo for a long time. I have no idea how she got him to eventually switch over, but he did. Think for some it's just a process?

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Re: Nicholas wont poo in the loo

Post by LilianJ on Fri 14 Jun 2013 - 8:32

Hi Gabby,

Was thinking of you... How are things going?
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