Advice please??

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Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Fri 26 Aug 2011 - 14:54

Hi everyone!

Id just like to find out from some of you out there about the processes of adoption. I have so many unanswered questions and no one really gives me a straight answer. My husband and I are looking to adopt a baby boy. We don't have any fertility issues and we have 3 other children so wanna know would it be at all possible to do this? Also, what's the minimum salary they look at?? I'm scared of going into this just to get turned down because we don't have the minimum salary they require prospective adoptive parents to have. There are so many things I just don't have the answers for:'(, am I asking too much or maybe expecting to know too much?

Jaydey
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Sheryl on Thu 1 Sep 2011 - 19:46

Sorry Jaydey, I did not know that there was a salary requirement.
I have heard from other people though, that they treat you like a criminal, they scrutinise every nook and cranny in your home!
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Thu 1 Sep 2011 - 19:53

I've sort of heard that too :'(... It gets very demotivating when you hear about all the things you have to go through just to give a little bundle of joy a home and a family that really loves him.
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Re: Advice please??

Post by michmac on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 10:29

Hi Jaydey, we are all in the same boat before you start the adoption process so feel free to ask questions. I don't know that there is a minimum salary exactly i think they look at the fact that you can afford to look after, feed the child ect.. Have you asked them about it yet?
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 10:43

Hi Michmac, my dh and I have our first meeting with the social worker on the 14th September and I am so anxious about how it'll go. I haven't been told about there being a minimum salary requirement, however with us already having other children, I'm assuming that there will be. Right now, other than the salary factor, I'm just stressing about the home visit...as to what they're looking at and what could go wrong. Ha ha, I'm just a ball of nerves with this whole thing. At the end of the day, I just want to hold my little boy in my arms and know that he's there to stay with us Smile
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Re: Advice please??

Post by michmac on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 10:53

Don't fret about the home visit, we all do before it happens but i promise you they don't come to check up on your housekeeping skills it's more to see you in your home environment. I was a nervous wreck before my first interview and it was so unnecessary cause it turned out that the sw was easy to chat to. Try and be yourselves and i'm sure it will all go fine. Who are you going through?
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:00

We're going through Cotlands. I volunteered there when I was a teenager and plus I didn't know of any other adoption agencies until after I had made the appointment.
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Re: Advice please??

Post by michmac on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:04

Cotlands is fantastic, the work they do is really amazing. I didn't know you could adopt through them. I see you are from CT as well, where about in Cape Town?
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:09

I know in JHB, Cotlands is still awaiting registration as an Adoption Agency, but here, they do adoptions through an external Social Worker which is how we're doing it. I'm from Strand and you? If you don't mind me asking, where did you adopt your beautiful little girl from. And how are you finding the tot years so far? My girls drive me crazy at times but wouldn't change it for anything in the world!
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Re: Advice please??

Post by michmac on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:28

I adopted her through Wilna Malherbe in the Strand actually. Do you know who the sw is that you are going to be seeing?
Some days i find the tot years amazing and other days i want to run for the hills screaming but i also wouldn't change it for the world. How old are your girls?
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:34

Marietie Turcke is her name. Ha ha, those years are the most trying and when they're over, you miss them all over again. My girls are 9 years, 18 months and 8 months...
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Re: Advice please??

Post by michmac on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:40

Oh wow 18 months and 8 months how do you cope?? Laughing
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Re: Advice please??

Post by michmac on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:53

Jaydey wrote:Marietie Turcke is her name.

Ok i haven't heard of her but i'm sure it will all be fine. Be open and honest ask all the questions that are bothering you, i found that making a list of questions before hand really helped cause afterwards you always think "i wish i had asked this or that"
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Re: Advice please??

Post by Jaydey on Tue 6 Sep 2011 - 11:58

Cope with alotta prayer and patience ;), shame they're not too bad - just very hyper. Thanks for the advice, I think I'm actually going to start on that list right now. (Now I have all these things running through my head)
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