Who has ....

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Who has ....

Post by Carmen on Tue 24 Aug 2010 - 10:32

Adopted through child welfare / a government funded organisation? This meaning that a private social worker was not used.
If so, what was your experience?
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Post by Petru on Fri 27 Aug 2010 - 13:14

Interesting questions Carmen. I would also like to hear from other couples that went through the process. As were are going through it at the moment, and I am sure you have read our struggle until now.

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Post by Carmen on Fri 27 Aug 2010 - 13:58

Hi Petru, thanks for your reply!
I have read about your struggle and it must be extremely hard for you. You are without a doubt a strong woman. I don't think I would be able to cope if I were in your situation. I admire you very much.
At this moment I'm totally frustrated with the whole system and honestly I am giving up hope of adopting :Worry . For me, it seems that the only way to adopt is through private SW's which the cost are far too much for me.
So that is why I was asking if anyone has adopted through welfare, but seems not many have....
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Post by Petru on Fri 27 Aug 2010 - 14:20

I have sent you an pm. Carmen, I would love to hear from you.

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Post by Petru on Fri 27 Aug 2010 - 14:34

Carmen, you would be surprised when you meet that special little angel, what you would do for that child. A foster/adoptive child is a very special little person. Your life changes so much, and from what I have read from other adoptive parents when the adoption was not so smooth, you will find strength you will have the capability to get through anything! We women have got allot of hidden strenghts we are not even fully utilising. lol!
Dont loose hope. I am a firm believer that the right child that is meant for you will come on your path.

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Post by Pandora on Sat 28 Aug 2010 - 18:43

Hi Carmen,

Don't give up hope!! We adopted through a private social worker, and still waited years, but it was meant to be that way. Just as I was about to give up hope, we got our call, and have the most special little girl, who was just meant for us. So I agree with Petru, we had to wait for our perfect baby, who just fits into our family so wonderfully. It was worth every minute!
The whole thing is frustrating, the worst part being the waiting, never having even a clue of how long it could take. I really hope yor angel finds you soon!
:Pray:

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Post by Carmen on Mon 30 Aug 2010 - 7:02

Thank you Petru & Pandora. Sometimes I need to be reminded that our baby will come when it's meant to be and exercise patience. Just been frustrated but will get over it. I think because I'm also an impatient person it gets hard sometimes. Thanks for your advice and kind words, they definately give me hope and positiveness Wub
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Post by Ilze on Mon 30 Aug 2010 - 7:12

Carmen we tried through the ACVV (church org,) and it was a pox. If we where willing to pay extra money which they called "skenkings" then we would get a baby very soon, but because we decided not to do that they said we are unfit to be parents
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Post by Carmen on Mon 30 Aug 2010 - 8:26

That is very sad Ilize especially through a church! Unfortunately, there are some SW's (not generalising) that make adoption a money making thing, so sad....
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Post by Pandora on Mon 30 Aug 2010 - 18:30

I agree, some do see it as an opportunity to prey on our desperation. Some of the organizations we phoned were quite rude, and at some we felt we were not even given a chance, but rejected over the phone, once definately because we are english.
I feel it is so sad, there are so many couples wanting to adopt, and so many childen needing parents, why can't they find their way to each other? The system is failing all of us terribly.
But as I said our daughter arrived at the perfect time, it is all in God's hands. You are in my thoughts.

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Post by Ilze on Mon 30 Aug 2010 - 20:51

Yes, unfortanatly the sistem is not only failing us but mostly the children.
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Re: Who has ....

Post by Petru on Tue 31 Aug 2010 - 12:33

When I read comments of the system failing us all, all I can add to this is.... they see us coming from a mile away!... and katching katching! .... babies/children, children starving for homes, safety, love, that has nothing, disappearing in the system of welfare... are big business, from start to finish! I sometimes had to have enourmous constraint not shout at the person on the telephone at one of these institutions! It is frustrating, I remember calling, being spoken to rudely, or spoken down to, questioned of why I thought I could be a mother, and then just to be told to phone back the lists are closed for the year.... reminds me of my 7 years of fertility attempts with cold, impersonal spesialists, receptionists that thought they were the fertility specialists...in honesty, I am speaking my own views, but the feeling I can ONLY explain it as, GROWELING..... BEING BENT OVER BY LIFE WITHOUT A CHILD, ALIENATED, ALONE, FELT LIKE I WAS SUFFERING FROM A SICKENSS THESE PEOPLE LOOK DOWN AND FROWNED ON.... why do people have to be so bloody rude.... :Mad

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Post by Petru on Tue 31 Aug 2010 - 12:36

Kyk, I am all fired up! I had to work an all nighter at work, feel a bit like a freak at this point in time, my eyes are getting bigger from the excess coffee rush! Need sleep!
I wish we could just speak, have a voice, and someone would listen, and there could be a way to make this process easier, surely it would be easier for all the children out there in desperate need of a home.... lives are being ruined, and it can be so much better!

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Post by Carmen on Tue 31 Aug 2010 - 13:52

I understand exacty what you saying Petru :Yes
Gee you worked the whole night, hope you get a full nights sleep tonight :Sleep
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Post by Petru on Tue 31 Aug 2010 - 14:01

Me too!!! I work for my Husbands company, and I had so many client orders to finish and our production team was running behind. This is my side of the business to handle, so he slept wonderful, and he babysat this morning when Hannes and Didi woke up, until our care giver got to work. Tonight he is working, late meetings, and my turn to watch the babies... I am hopefull that they will go to bed at 19h00 tonight, then I am straight into bed!
Didi is just sleeping very bad at the moment, waking up three to four times at night, always like this after a visit. She sleeps throuhg when she is back into her routines..looking forward to that....

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Post by Carmen on Tue 31 Aug 2010 - 14:08

LOL shame man Petru, it's wonderful being a working mum hey.... for you
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Post by Petru on Tue 31 Aug 2010 - 14:18

:Sleepy :heehee2: Never a dull moment.... that I can tell you! I really wish we were in the position for me to be a stay at home mom, feel like i am missing out on stuff. But that is life... did you come right to call maybe?

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Post by Carmen on Wed 1 Sep 2010 - 6:21

Morning Petru, I haven't had a chance to call as yet .... will let you know the outcome when I do. Thanks for your help again xx
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Re: Who has ....

Post by Hopeful on Fri 10 Sep 2010 - 10:55

We adopted our second child (baby girl of 6 months old) via the CMR (church organisation), although we did not belong to the particular church they still assisted us and must mention that the social worker who assisted us was really professional, caring and considerate. Our little girl has been placed by us since July 2010 and was a wonderful experience... Practically, did not cost anything yet, will only have to pay for the court fees etc. once the process goes to court to be finally legalised, whereas friends using a private organisation paid over R30,000-00. As long you get along and is happy with your social worker, it's not important or going to make a difference whether you go private or use a governmental or church organisation. All the best for you!
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