Biological father rights

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Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 11:58

Hi there

Does anyone know what rights the biological father of a child given up for adoption are. He did not sign the papers, or is not on the childs birth certificate and is denying that he is in fact the childs father, but can he come back and contest this adoption?? The biological mother has signed all the papers and our 60 days are up but my concern is the father coming out of the woodwork??? The biological mother origionally told us that she doesnt know who the father is, but I think she might be lying??? Can this child be taken away from us months or years down the line??? :Worry
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Haze on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 12:03

Biological fathers have to sign the adoption papers, the law was changed in 1994, but I think if he has denyed that he is the child father (has he signed waived his rights) then he wouldn't have much recourse!

I wouldn't worry to much if the 60 days are up as i'm sure that the adoption agency covered all the legal aspects !

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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 12:06

well, the biological mother went to the police station and signed an affridavit that she does not know who the father is? He has no idea about the adoption?? If it is him?
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Haze on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 12:10

Sho, thats a tricky situation but I think (and i'm not 100 % sure) that you and your DH are the legal guardians and they are YOUR CHILDREN, so I think that he would have to prove that he would be a better parent to them!

I'm not 100 % sure.


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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 12:16

Thanks so much for the advice. xxx

My hubby and I have some deep soul searching and discussions tonight as although the 60 days is over, the bio mom is a distant member of our family and proving to be a constant nightmare which has badly affected me and my DH relationship and Im scared that by carrying on with this adoption its also going to damage my baby girls life!! The courts have stated that we can withdraw as the forms have not gone to Pretoria yet. The disgruntled bio mom marched to the courts telling them she knew who the dad was so now there might be an issue there. I feel desperately sorry for this little boy who has been with us for 5 months now, but do I put my whole family through this constant agony for years to come,with the chance that the bio dad could pop up and take revenge on the bio mom and try get him back!!!! Oh my gosh! Adoption can be so so hard!!!

Anyway, I will keep you posted.
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Haze on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 12:19

Oh Stacy that is horrible - i'm praying fo ryou and yoru family

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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 12:21

thanks so much. :Sad
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Petru on Fri 16 Jul 2010 - 13:46

Stacy, How unbelievably difficult this must be for you and your family. What does your legal team and social workers say about this. If it does get dragged out, is is going to be difficult. That is for sure. But you have done so much until now. And you can give this child a better home? Don't let it go, there must be some legal rights you and your hubby have? Please keep us posted.

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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Mon 19 Jul 2010 - 10:44

Hi there.

Thanks Petru. Unfortunately after many discussions and loads of tears, my husband and I decided that we would give Blake back to his Biological mother, and I packed up him and all his things on Thursday last week. i have not seen him since or heard a word.

This was not an easy decision but would have been a lot worse if we had fought for him, and thats if we could even afford the attorneys fees!!! But the chance I could not take was that because the biological moms 60 days were up, if this adoption had been contested by the father, Blake would have gone to a place of safety or childrens home, until the court decided who the best parent was. I could not be the one that placed him in that environment. My social worker who has been with us for a few years now, also suggested it was finally time to walk away!!! Bawl Eyes Out

We have our little girl, do want a sibling for her so have put our names back on the adoption list and I am considering the chance of starting fertility treatment again, but for now, we are just enjoying every minute with her.
Thanks everyone for your support!!! Flower smile
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Petru on Mon 19 Jul 2010 - 10:54

Stacy, I am sorry to hear, it must have been very hard for you to come to this decision. But I respect that you are man enough to know this is a situation as you say that can cause him to be placed in a place that he would have been worse off. I do hope you are lucky with a sibling for your little angel. You are in my prayers. God always shows the way, and sometimes it is hard. You are a brave and strong woman! Smiley

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Re: Biological father rights

Post by DJMommy on Mon 19 Jul 2010 - 13:18

I am so sorry to hear that Stacy

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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Mon 19 Jul 2010 - 13:27

Oh, its ok girls. Im sad, but Things happen for a reason. I might not understand it right now, but one day will. Im seeing my gynae next month and going to start the TTC journey again. One thing this has taught me is that I want 2 children and years ago I even saw a psychic who said I would have 2 so!!!!!?????? You never know!! xxx wink Us women are strong, and can handle anything!!!
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Kerryw on Tue 20 Jul 2010 - 11:08

Gosh that is so tough. I suppose the parents that give thier kids up for adoption do have messy lives otherwise they would cope with the baby.

best of luck with the TTC I hope you gynea can pull a miracle out of the hat for you.
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Re: Biological father rights

Post by Stacy on Tue 20 Jul 2010 - 11:27

Thanks so much!!! Yes, her life was a mess. Unfortunately she is an exotic dancer so her life has the potential to get very messy very quickly, but I do hope she tries extra hard for his sake!! Anyway, my little family has suffered so much that I have to walk away ! Its very tough, but 5 months has been enough!!

So, I have an appt to see my gynae next month, at R700 a consult, I was rather shocked about that!!!!! And our names are back on the adoption list so lets see what comes first!

Holding thumbs for a miracle!!!!Smile

Bear love
Thanks for everyones support, here and in the TTC lounge!!
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