Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

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Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Cutie Baby on Fri 2 Jul 2010 - 13:22

This couple was foster parents for this little girl form age 2 until 7, so its was 5 years. She was their daughter and they were her parents. One day, the social services rock up at her house and tell her that they are there to fetch the little girl as they found a home for her ( she was now officially adopted ) and they told them to say their goodbyes..... :confused

Can they really do this, how does this work? That just sounds wicked and totally wrong.
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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by DJMommy on Fri 2 Jul 2010 - 17:29

That sounds wrong. Surely social workers should prepare the child and the foster parents before hand? I am sure that that could seriously mess a child up

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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Lilly on Fri 2 Jul 2010 - 19:25

that is just cruel, specially towards the child!
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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Petru on Mon 5 Jul 2010 - 13:26

That is my greatest fear that it would happen to us. When we started this journey we joined the secial system as 'place of safety parents'. Never did we imagine we would indeed be considered. And that day came. We were that parents for Daniele, our daugter at that time she was three months old. She was placed in our care and from the very moment we were informed from our social worker that 'place of safety'means that they can give us 24 hours to fetch her. This with the system which ever way the children's court outcome would be. Well we went through hell, because you dream that this child is your. We prayed, cried and prayed. And six months came and went. Our situation was different in every way. The biological mother became pregnant again, same biological father, and the social organisation opted to wait another six months to see what the outcome would be, and they decided before Daniele's brother was born to remove once he was born from the Biologial mother and we were contacted to find out would be also be interested in looking after the baby. We said yes of course. And a month later our case came in front of the judge and we were awarder two years foster care for both children. The childrens law has changed so much, and half of it, I still can not get all the details on the internet, most social workers are still receiving training on the new law. But after two years, yes the children can be taken away should the court decide. But I can say with certainty the social worker in our case, is constantly in contact with us. Not once did we not know what the next step is. And we are constantly assured by her the childrend court would not do anything that will be damaging to the children, they are there to protect the children. So, we are hoping, praying that after two years we can adopt both children as the BM still can not look after them and also there is a pending case against her for child abuse when Daniele was born. It does not seem fair to those children, and I am sure someone made a mistake, of the social worker was not working together with the foster parents. if you do this, or get onto this road. Make sure you know everything, and ask constantly how the law works. Smiley

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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Petru on Mon 5 Jul 2010 - 13:29

I just want to add to my comment. Foster parents are, very straight forward informed that you only have certain rights, they inform you from teh beginning of the risks. It is hars, and your truly have no say in any matters. For instance if the child needs an emergency operation, you as foster parent has no right to make that decision, or give permission, if the biological mother can not be contacted the state will give permission. You are as foster parent however responsible for the schooling, looking after, medical bills, basically everything financially responsible. But those hard and difficult decision you have no place to make a choice or have any rights.

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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Petru on Mon 5 Jul 2010 - 13:32

Apologies for the spelling, but my hands are freezing typing on my keyboard! :Embarassed

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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Ilze on Mon 5 Jul 2010 - 20:37

All I can say is unfortanatly the sistem forsake most of the time the child. Very sad.
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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by Cutie Baby on Tue 6 Jul 2010 - 7:04

It is so sad, I dont understand it, I so wish it could be different. It broke my heart to see how sad and distraught the foster mother was. When they asked the foster child ( 30 years old today ), what she thought was happening, she said that she thought that because this family had then conceived their own child (who was about 5 months before she was removed from the home) that she was no longer needed....imagine a 7 year old thinking that...... Crying or Very sad
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Re: Oprah story, is this how it is in SA too?

Post by SupaMum on Tue 6 Jul 2010 - 12:28

It is sad and I believe that more time should be given to prepare the child for such a happening.
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