Comparing twins development

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Comparing twins development

Post by Zellie on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 8:57

Hi Everyone

I am a bit worried about Abigail. She is not yet rolling over and when placed on her tummy she lifts her hands up, looks like she is jumping out of a plane. I am taking her to a physiotherapist next week. But mainly I just want to hear your experience with your twins development and at what time they reached certain milestones.

It's so weird. Clarice started sitting at just over 5 months. She is rolling in every direction and started saying "baba" and "mmmmmaaa". In 2 weeks time they'll be 7 months old and I am scared Abigail is falling behind. Abigail was the smaller one (1.8kg born at 36 wks) but she is now bigger that her sister and much stronger, it just doesn't make sense. No No Also she doesn't like sitting, she pushes herself backwards the whole time.

I hope the physio will help, but am I paranoid or do I have cause for concern? My mom says I shouldn't compare the two but it's difficult because by this time Abigail should be able to role over, right?!?! :Sad

Take care

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Ams on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 9:21

Hi Zellie- the moms here (kerry especially) really helped with with that - and not even on purpose - I was just chatting the one day and we all realised that our twins are a lot the same. I wouldn't worry but taking her to the physio will settle your mind.

Finn is the one that takes a little longer but he was really squashed in my tummy and he screamed for the first 3 months solid until we found out he had a little neck problem. The physio sorted this out in 3 sessions.

He then had a 'rounded?' back and would only stand on one foot. We took him for an x ray as they say twins are sometimes really squashed and can dislocate a hip. This was also fine. They say if you have a cesar your baby does not get 'aligned' properly so this was the case with Finn. He grew out of it by himself.

So once again I really think the physio will settle your mind. Not sure what the other mums think. I just make sure that they both know Im really really proud of them whatever stage they are at - and I'm SURE you do the same. Let us know what happens.x

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Guest on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 9:27

Hi! My Olivia always seemed about 2 weeks behind Rachel and she started walking about a month after Rachel, even though Rachel was the smaller one. Both mine were sitting well by 7 months and crawling by 9. I would be a little concerned about the rolling but not too much, a pead told me they have to be rolling by 9 months. I think taking her in is a good idea, even if it just puts your mind at rest.

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Zellie on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 9:43

Hi

Seems that twins normally develop at different rates. It's just so hard to not compare them. I'll let you know what the physio says, hopefully I get some home exercises for her.

They are growing up so fast. Wub

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Ams on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 9:48

mm I think the only yuggy thing about having twins is that unless you can afford to - you can't really have any more children. For example I know that once the baby stage is over its gone forever. Feels like I waited for decades and now I must make sure to appreciate every little cloud of baby powder if you understand what i mean. I think it was Danni that said the other day - you so proud of their milestones but you sad at the same time - cause they grow SO SO quickly. Love them madly!

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Zellie on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 10:04

Hi

Yes Ams, I feel the same. They will also be our only children since I don't think we can afford anymore and we will not be doing anymore fertility treatments. So we too are trying to enjoy each moment with them. Pity the baby stage is over so quickly, but then again they are so cute growing up. Smile Each stage have their pro's and con's I guess.

Have a lovely day.

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Kerryw on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 10:31

Zellie I think the physio is a good idea cause then you can relax.

My boys Kian especially hated!!! tummy time would just scream. he also never really rolled much but he crawled fine and is walking fine.

SO like people like to quote over and over again " every baby is different" but sometimes it is true and you just need to believe it.
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Wendy on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 13:52

I understand your concern - but I am sure you don't need to worry. But get it checked just for your peace of mind. My babies are very different in terms of their development. Michael being physically advanced was sitting by 7 months, but Grace only sat at 9 months. He crawled by 9 months, but Grace only by 11 months. Michael has just started taking a few steps (or more of a stagger! ), so my guess Grace will only start walking in 2 months time. Strangely enough she rolled before Michael did (I think just because she hated being on her tummy!) But they are just both at such a delightful stage now - it's hard work but I'm loving every minute of it! They just seem to get cuter and cuter!
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Zellie on Fri 30 Apr 2010 - 14:36

Hi

Thank you everyone. I know I should relax and not worry about the speed they each develop but it's so hard when you have two the same age and not compare.

I think I might also feel some pressure to get my girls to develop on time ... according to the baby books because we have a friend with a baby boy that's 1 month older and he started crawling at 6 months.

After chatting with you I think I should just relax, take Abigail to the physio and let them both develop at their own pace. There is no need to rush right?!?! Smile

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Wendy on Sat 1 May 2010 - 13:07

Just on the above topic of differences in twins - we just got back from the Fleamarket where we were asked "What is the age difference between your children?"? , to which my husband answered "about a minute!"!!!
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by TamMck on Sat 1 May 2010 - 18:36

Kelsey and Cailyn were 7 and a bit weeks prem (born just under 33 weeks). Kelsey was 1.8kg (nasal canular oxygen for about 7 days, 4 weeks in NICU) and Cailyn 1.6kg (born with congenial pneumonia and had to be resussed 4 times at birth, cpap for 9 days, nasal canular oxygen for 8 days, 5 weeks in NICU).

Okay just gave a bit of birth history so you guys can use it for reference with respect to development. I seem to have the oldest twins here so I guess developmentally can give you guys a gauge.

Kelsey and Cailyn both started tummy time as soon as they were home from NICU. Kelsey sat unsupported on her own at 6 and a half months, Cailyn sat exactly one week later. Kelsey crawled at 8 and half months, Cailyn leopard crawled at same stage and only crawled properly at 9 and half months. Kelsey walked at 12 and half months and Cailyn walked at 13 and half months. So in terms of gross motor development Kelsey did everything first and she is the bigger of the two (just under a 2kg difference in weight).

Cailyn was able to put her own dummy in her mouth by 5 months and could hold her own bottle by 6 and half months (Kelsey was only at 7 months). Could drink from sippy cup on her own by 7 months and from a straw cup just over 12 months. She could drink from a proper plastic cup by 15 months (Kelsey only at 16 months, and she still messes more then Cailyn). She learnt to feed herself first with spoon and fork. She could completely undress herself by 17 months and was able to start dressing herself and putting on her own shoes etc by about 19 months. She started speaking two-three words at a time and sentences way before Kelsey and could hold a full conversation by about 20 months, she has a vocab of 200-300 words. Kelsey now talks as well as Cailyn but took much longer to start doing 6-7 word sentences. Kelsey still cant undress herself and hasnt mastered the art of putting on her shoes on the right feet.

So in terms of fine motor development Cailyn has been streaks ahead. And according to their nursery school teacher she is in fact ahead of most of the class, for sorting and naming shapes - colours. She can do most peg puzzles completely on her own and can do a 5 piece puzzle on her own or with little assistance.

Both girls started potty training at about 20 months and will now tell me if they need to wee ... Cailyn will also just take herself to the potty and then come and tell me "mommy I make wee-wee".

So its really difficult to compare them ... but as you can see there are fairly on pare with each other.

For real comparison ... Kieran (my son) crawed at 5 and half months, sat unaided at 6 months, walked at 11 months and hasnt stopped since then. He learnt to hold his own bottle at 7 months. He only started talking properly after the age of 2, until then was 2-3 words but lots of pointing and "uh's". He hasnt shut up since he started though :-D. He was out of day time nappies by 2 years 3-4 months and night time nappies by 3.

There are certain mile-stones that babies should do at certain times but they are not hard and fast rules ... your paed should be monitoring the development at the 6 month and 12 month and 18 month and 2 year checkups. Try not to compare your twins to each other or to other children the same age (especially if they were prem), then correct their age for their fullterm due dates.

Hope this insight helps a little. Any Q's please shout ...

Cheers
Tam

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Kerryw on Mon 3 May 2010 - 6:26

I understand it is really hard not to compare twins but if it is any help, my sister was full term only crawled at 12 months and walked at 15!! and yet she is now almost a surgeon! so I really think the crawling walking thing means very little.
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Page on Mon 3 May 2010 - 6:54

Hey, just my opinion as well.

First thing i have to say....
Nica loved to lie on her tummy from the beginning and Kiana hated it. But both my girls only started rolling over after they started sitting. So for me things happened not in order, but it happened and thats whats important.

Since my girls were very much the same size and born full-term - i have had the exact same emotions that you have Zellie... i also expected they would "do things" at the same time

But for me as well it was VERY difficult to accept the fact that they develop at their own time. I am very open minded about "my kids" not being measured to other kids regarding milestones etc, but to accept that my one child is sitting while the other cannot, and the one crawling while the other one was not.... was very difficult.

But you know what, i stimulated when i had the time (which was not often) and had to remind myself constantly that she will get it right.... some time.... just be patient.

Nica was ahead with everything, from rolling, sitting, teething...... BUT Kiana walked first! (Nica is not walking yet, and Kiana has been walking now for 2 weeks)

So please dont be hard on yourself... they are each very unique, and they will get everything right at the own time, no matter how difficult it is for us to see this.... But remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with them, and by learning everything at their own time, they experience their baby-days for a bit longer!!

I must agree, they grow so fast en they just get cuter by the day.
Its true what you said about these baby stages that you have to engrave in your memory because we wont have the chance to experience it again.
i would love to have more kids, but only a bigger miracle than the one i had with the twins , will make that possible. But.... maybe.... just maybe....
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by SupaMum on Mon 3 May 2010 - 7:39

Zellie, I would like to offer you comfort in the fact that my boys only started SITTING at 11 months, they never crawled, they bum shuffled and took their first wobbly steps at 19 months... they were confidently walking by 20 months.

And they were born at 35 weeks at 2.1 and 1.8, they never spent any time in NNICU, well they did but four hours for observations that was it.
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Page on Mon 3 May 2010 - 9:43

I also hear about many peoples kids walking before 1 year - and i think its great - but remember that the "walking milestone" is up to 18/20 months, so if your child walks on 1 year, or 1y6months - its all normal.

Never let anyone put you off, if their child started walking already at 8 months and they start making you feel uncomfortable....
Just tell them "everything at their own time"!

Which reminds me, i once bumped into an article on the "Circle of Moms" group in Facebook, where there was an American mom who raved about her baby of 7 months being fully potty trained!! you can imagine how much "feedback" she got.....
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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by ROBZ on Wed 5 May 2010 - 7:20

Hey Zellie,

Well not sure if i can post here but thought i would anyways. I do not have twins but i must say my nephew only walked at 17 months and you can imagaine how people told her that he was slow, and this and that it drove her mad but yet he is on top of his class at 6 years old and they can not believe how clever this little man is. I think of my son who is 8 he never ever crawled and just got up and walked at 13 months but i hear you we all so worried and love to compare whether its between your own twins or someone else i suppose us woman just want to be in control.

Love
Robz

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Zellie on Wed 5 May 2010 - 8:59

Hi

Thank you for sharing everyone. The Physio phoned and can only see us on the 27th now. So I am not very happy at the moment but that's life I guess.

I am just happy to have found all of you to help with these questions and uncertainties. It's hard raising twins in more than one way but so rewarding. But a manual would have helped a great deal. wink

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Re: Comparing twins development

Post by Page on Wed 5 May 2010 - 9:30

Hey, one thing that did not come out clearly in my previous posting was that Kiana hated lying on her stomach and never liked it - she would put up such a scream and just lie with her face down, she would not lift herself up at all.
But she turned out fine and can roll like a barrel now. So although its a good thing if they can do the lying on the tummy, (since that is what all the books tell you) some kids just learn that skill some other way.

let her lie on her back and take her hands and count to three and then lift her up slowly. she will start to bring her head up herself and also start practicing her stomach muscles that way.
Also as she gets use to it you do less pulling and she does most of the "coming up" or she will be pulling with her arms...
So this way she will make her arms stronger as well and her neck.
And learnt to count to three.
I did it with Kiana many times and she loved it when she could get up.
She also struggled to crawl since i believed her arms were not that strong, but she got it right eventually.... so stop doubting your little girl.
She will be perfectly fine....
Just another question - dont you have a pediatrician appointment at 6 months? You can obviously raise this with your pead as well.

this will make her arms
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