xxxx

Page 2 of 3 Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Carmen on Fri 18 Jun 2010 - 6:30

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it's not fair.
Carry on being strong.
big hug
avatar
Carmen
Uber Member
Uber Member

Number of posts : 856
Age : 42
Location : Cape Town
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-11-18

Back to top Go down

I got a feeling ...

Post by Petru on Fri 18 Jun 2010 - 6:48

Smiley


Last edited by Petru on Thu 9 Sep 2010 - 14:05; edited 1 time in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Hopeful on Fri 18 Jun 2010 - 6:57

It will be a rough rollercoaster ride... but will pray for you and your family that it all works out! Enjoy the weekend and spoil your husband for father's day!! Fingers
avatar
Hopeful
Junior Member
Junior Member

Number of posts : 47
Age : 47
Location : Pretoria
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-05-17

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Fri 18 Jun 2010 - 7:05

Hi there

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Carmen on Fri 18 Jun 2010 - 7:06

Have a wonderful weekend with your family. :Yes
avatar
Carmen
Uber Member
Uber Member

Number of posts : 856
Age : 42
Location : Cape Town
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-11-18

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by AliciaM on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 7:48

Hi all,
I am a newby to this and actually not very good at taking part in these kind of activities, in fact I can't stand things such as mix it, etc but desperation to talk to people that has some knowledge drove me to this.

Me and my husband had our last formal screening interview as potential adoptive parents last week. Smiley
We firmly believe that it takes an extremely good mother to give her child up for adoption. Clearly she shows an inner strength which very little of us have. It takes someone who really cares deeply about their child’s welfare to acknowledge that they cannot give the baby whatever is needed and provide that little treasure with the ground stones of growing up at a family that can do so.

We sincerely believe that parent ship is a privilege that GOD will never deny anyone especially when the intended parents have pure motives for the child in their care. Although HE does not allow all of us to have one of our own I believe that it is part of HIS bigger plan. God knew that there will be helpless children in need and therefore had to keep some of HIS special children (adoptive parents), who HE knew will be capable to excel in taking care of these little ones.

Although the stats are made clear to us and we understand the limitations of adopting a white baby especially when regarding the fact that I already do have two (nearly grown up 15 & 18) children from her previous marriage I believe that GOD will not take the chance away from my husband to have someone calling him daddy. He so dearly deserves to be called daddy. He will most definitely be the best daddy this world has ever seen. He is an extremely kind, generous, GOD Loving and dependable person who lived his life to serve GOD. Why would GOD not give him this? He will be any child's dream father. To make this worse we do not have thousands and thousands to spend on "buying" the favour of the birth mother. We do have a stable income and the ability to live comfortably but we do not have banks full of spare cash that waits to be used. I've read lot of messages from adoptive parents clearly stating that those with the most money get chosen first.

In actual fact I believe that we are very settled and I know from taking care of my sister's baby during a difficult time she experienced that I now am much more relaxed and self confident in looking after a baby. The fact that I also do know what it is to have a child of your own are in actual fact making me believe that the baby we adopt should grow up with the truth. I will ensure to keep the birth mom updated if this is what she wants and also give her details to her biological child on a suitable age in order to prevent the placing of newspaper/huisgenoot articles in order to find each other. We fully believe that the birth mother suffered enough by giving up her baby and we will definitely consider her wishes for the babies future (within the law off cause and not to the expense of the little one) In our house there will definitely be love and cherishing in more than triplicate as the older brother and sister are as excited as us and will definitely spoil their little brother or sister rotten

If GOD has a child booked for us no stats or human predictions will stop HIM from delivering that child to us. GOD surely knows that we will be wonderful parents who will be able to provide in all the needs of such little one in need.
With constant love and attention any child can have a perfectly healthy emotional and physical childhood.

In the end the main ingredients for any child to flourish are LOVE, discipline, Security and routine. We have been through the school of life. We are homely with no destructive habits and will be able to provide any child with all the above and a good measure of stability. We are secure in our knowledge of being able to bring up a little one to the satisfaction of any onlooker but most important to the approval of GOD.

It does however sometimes get to us to know that the waiting list for white babies is extremely long and that chances are very slim. We already have all baby equipment and clothing for up to 2 years and the cot in our room ready this is how big our faith is but in the end we are human and then we take a dip of worry and doubt. The next day we get up again and start all over. Believing and praying. This is a roller coaster ride but believe me the day we get that little baby all the hardship will be forgotten immediately and joy will overflow the rest of our life’s.

I would like to hear from:

Other adoptive parents - maybe this will give me a bit of hope to hear your stories

Mothers that gave up their babies or intends to do so - we've been told that most birth parents wants their child to be with a couple with no other children and that chances are that we will never be picked. In our case however our children is independent and soon to be out of the house going on with their own futures (don't worry we are still under 40. I also had my first child at young age) Your baby will therefore be even more treasured. We no longer go out to parties and will never leave the baby with baby sitters etc whilst younger couples are still very active with their own needs. I guess what I actually want to hear from you is if you would have considered us as potential parents for your child?
[img][/img]

AliciaM
Newbie
Newbie

Number of posts : 7
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-07-01

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 9:37

Smiley


Last edited by Petru on Thu 9 Sep 2010 - 14:05; edited 1 time in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by AliciaM on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 10:07

Thanks Petru.

We are so aware of the road ahead and that it might be very difficult but we are willing to do whatever (within the legal frameworks off course) are needed to succeed.

Currently we already are a registered Emergency Care Home in our town and that in itself is tough enough. It is unbelievable to see how low grown ups can go in the treatment of children they are suppose to protect and love. This does however help a lot in getting use to the fact that you are just a temporary care and assist in preparing you for the emotional times when you have to say goodbye again.

Problem is however that we are living in one of those small towns where everybody know everything about all. This basically results into no babies ever coming up for foster care or adoption. As soon as someone get pregnant without marriage they are send off before anyone know. If a person does not want their children the family takes over.

This means that we will not easily get accommodated in a small town like ours but we strongly believe in the Heavenly Father and His miracles and therefore we will not loose hope.

AliciaM
Newbie
Newbie

Number of posts : 7
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-07-01

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Hannah's Hope on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 11:51

Hi Alicia,

WELCOME!!!!! My name is Hannah and I have been on the road that you are on at the moment not too long ago.

First of all I almost want to say to you to shut your ears to all negative talk/gossip about adoption. E.g. it is NOT true that all birthmothers want their children to be only children. I know of many couples that got babies where the birthparents specifically stated they wanted their child to have siblings or that they wanted a more experienced mommy.

It is so dangerous to lend out your ears to other people. Try to stay focussed and positive and keep the faith. People said exactly the same thing to us about white newborns and our WHITE baby was born last year November and placed in our arms litereally seconds after his birth - you don't get more NEWBORN than that. Yes we waited a while, but I also believe that God prepared us for our little boy during this time.

Do not fret or be anxious about your baby. Stay calm, get as much information as possible and never stop believing. I am currently writing a book on the issue and hopefully it will be published soon. There are too many people out there with misguided information about IVF and adoption and I would love to change that with the information in my book.

Hang in there, you came to the right place for comfort and support. Join us in the General forum, the adoption forum is a bit quiet sometimes!!
avatar
Hannah's Hope
Uber Member
Uber Member

Number of posts : 712
Age : 46
Location : Pretoria
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-08-13

http://hannahamos7.wix.com/almostpregnant

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by AliciaM on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 13:27

Hi Hannah,
What a joy to read your message. Thank you so much. In our case one positive makes up for hundreds of negatives.

We also decided not to search the web any longer as information are so contrasting that you do not know what to believe. We are now focussing on what our Social Worker are telling us and GOD.

Yes we do get down days where hope seems so small but the next day someone like you enter our lifes and up we go again. Just two kind words of hope can change a persons mood within seconds. And this is where people like yourself are used as by the Lord to uplift others in time of need.

Thanks a lot.

AliciaM
Newbie
Newbie

Number of posts : 7
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-07-01

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by DJMommy on Thu 1 Jul 2010 - 17:54

Just wanted to say hi and welcome to the forum!

_________________


9x DIUI
3x Laparoscopies
1x Hysteroscopy
AMH: 0.6
1x IVF (Sept 09)
1st Beta 20/09/09: 208
2nd Beta 21/09/09:290
3rd Beta 25/09/09: 1985
4th Beta 29/09/09: 10318
TWINS!
avatar
DJMommy
Admin
Admin

Number of posts : 15278
Age : 39
Location : Johannesburg
Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-01

http://myttclife.blogspot.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by AliciaM on Fri 2 Jul 2010 - 10:25

Thank you Eve. You have two beautiful babies. You need to enjoy them thoroughly and cuddle as much as you can. I've enjoyed my two children most during the period 1 to 5 years and did not want to spend a single moment without them. They're growing up so fast.

AliciaM
Newbie
Newbie

Number of posts : 7
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-07-01

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by SupaMum on Tue 6 Jul 2010 - 12:43

WOW, only reading this now! I take my hat off to you Petru and I pray that you get to keep your bundles of joy, they deserve a mother like you!
avatar
SupaMum
V.I.P. Member
V.I.P. Member

Number of posts : 3067
Age : 33
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-02-15

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Wed 7 Jul 2010 - 8:59

Smiley


Last edited by Petru on Thu 9 Sep 2010 - 14:06; edited 1 time in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by AliciaM on Wed 7 Jul 2010 - 10:05

Hi Petru,
Your PM has reference. We did send our profiles to various social workers at various organisations. Unfortunately all told us their lists are closed and that they have up to 24 couples waiting to get onto the list.

Another problem is that most don't accept another social worker's/organisation screening and expect us to do it all over again with them. This will result into various difficulties and extremely high costs.

Yes there are various private social workers who might be able to help us sooner but then it will be an expensive story. As said we are not suffering and have a relatively comfortable life but we do not have banks full of money to spend and therefore could not afford to go with this option.

We had a discussion about this last night and me and my husband decided that we are not going to let this get to us. We are going to believe in the will of God and if His will is for us to get a baby He will ensure that the treasure gets to us no matter what. If however this does not happen He must have a reason for it and we will have to accept. I'm not saying this is going to be easy but what else could we do?

Sometimes I wish that I can lay my hands on a bag of money (just enough to cover the private social worker route) but unfortunately we don't have rich family members that will hand that kind of money over to us. Debt is not even a consideration. My previous marriage was full of it (my ex was an absolute compulsive spender and managed to open accounts and take out loans on my name without me even knowing it but that is a long story) After my divorce I ended up with all the debt (he resigned his work and has no income) Untill this day I am paying off on some of my past's ghosts and I will never in my life take on any debt ever again. Me and my children had times where we had to share one orange for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sorry, I did not mean to tell you my life story I just wanted you to see how strong I feel about debt. It nearly took the life out of me and even though our hearts ache for that baby I am not willing to risk going through what we had again. Borrowing money to get a baby will in any case in its own result into less priviledges to our new baby due to monthly installments.

For now HOPE and PRAY are all we've got.

AliciaM
Newbie
Newbie

Number of posts : 7
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-07-01

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Hannah's Hope on Tue 13 Jul 2010 - 11:56

Hi Alicia,

If you look at a earlier post of mine on the Adoption forum entitled 'The astonishing cost of adoption' you will see how I feel about the subject!!

Regards,
avatar
Hannah's Hope
Uber Member
Uber Member

Number of posts : 712
Age : 46
Location : Pretoria
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-08-13

http://hannahamos7.wix.com/almostpregnant

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Kerryw on Wed 14 Jul 2010 - 9:04

Hi Alicia

Best of luck with the process. Have you considered a black or cloured baby? it is becomming so normal these days. I had to wait to fall pregnant with my boys and that was torture enough. I can't imagine waiting to get onto a list to wait for a baby!

Petru how is your adoption discussions with the BM comming along?
avatar
Kerryw
V.I.P. Member
V.I.P. Member

Number of posts : 8763
Age : 42
Location : Johannesburg
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-05-31

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Fri 16 Jul 2010 - 12:52

Smiley


Last edited by Petru on Thu 9 Sep 2010 - 14:07; edited 1 time in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Fri 16 Jul 2010 - 14:59

:Sad


Last edited by Petru on Tue 20 Jul 2010 - 7:02; edited 2 times in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Ilze on Sat 17 Jul 2010 - 9:38

big hug big hug big hug Fostercare/Adoption is so unfair but I hope and pray you and your husband will win this battle and that the LO's will be yours forever.
avatar
Ilze
V.I.P. Member
V.I.P. Member

Number of posts : 8208
Age : 42
Location : Kuruman
Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-02

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Kerryw on Tue 20 Jul 2010 - 10:57

Gosh you have gone through so much with these children. I am sure things must work out.

I can't imagine coping with two small children and having to do OT and excersizes. I think you have done an amazing job. Hopefully the BM will come to her senses and give you the children.

but best of luck the waiting must be frustrating. but please come update us in the mommy lounge we would love to hear how they are doign regularly. Also you can join in the photo competitions.
avatar
Kerryw
V.I.P. Member
V.I.P. Member

Number of posts : 8763
Age : 42
Location : Johannesburg
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-05-31

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Tue 20 Jul 2010 - 12:00

Smiley


Last edited by Petru on Thu 9 Sep 2010 - 14:08; edited 1 time in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Kerryw on Tue 10 Aug 2010 - 7:49

hi to post photos you click on the immage block withthe file in then you brows to find your pics on your computer then put in your password for OPM if it asks and finally copy the middle line of text into the message box.
avatar
Kerryw
V.I.P. Member
V.I.P. Member

Number of posts : 8763
Age : 42
Location : Johannesburg
Mood :
Registration date : 2009-05-31

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by SupaMum on Fri 13 Aug 2010 - 7:37

Hi Petru
You are an amazing women for what you are doing for Didi and Hannes, they are too very lucky children and I just know that they are going to say with you and your hubby forever, I think that you have a strong case. I can only imagine how your heart must of shattered seeing Didi in so much pain but you carried on because you knew it was right for her and just look at her now, wow!
avatar
SupaMum
V.I.P. Member
V.I.P. Member

Number of posts : 3067
Age : 33
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-02-15

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Petru on Thu 19 Aug 2010 - 14:32

Smiley


Last edited by Petru on Thu 9 Sep 2010 - 14:08; edited 1 time in total

Petru
Senior Member
Senior Member

Number of posts : 197
Age : 46
Mood :
Registration date : 2010-04-12

Back to top Go down

Re: xxxx

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 3 Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum