The astonishing cost of private adoption (not for the fainthearted!)

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Re: The astonishing cost of private adoption (not for the fainthearted!)

Post by Pandora on Sat 12 Dec 2009 - 18:09

Hi Michmac,

Leia is 8 and a half months old. Your little Rebecca is too cute! Love the outfit. Did you have her from birth? I notice that now, although L is still sleeping through, it is much harder getting her to sleep, much more fun jumping around the cot than lying in it. Before she used to just drop off after the bottly was empty. Hope you go back to sleeping through soon!

Ilze, I pray you find the right path. Don't ever give up hope! As you see, some of us had a long wait, but it was so worth it.

Hannah, a book is a great idea. The only South African book I found was more a collection of stories with a bit of practical info tagged on. Are you only going to go into the practical side of it? I will total our costs up soon and send them to you. I agree, there are so many different stories around. I see that in some posts on this and other sites, some people get their call literally a week after their assessments, while others, like us, wait for years, and almost give up. But in the case of the 'fast ones', there are often years of TTCing, endless heartache and lots of pain before getting to that point. And although adoption is a wonderful thing, and by the way, you never made it sound negative, I feel that not enough is said in the books I read about some of the emotional costs. When we got our call, we were absolutely terrified! It was the most emotional time of my life, a complete rollercoaster of feelings. It all stopped the second we laid eyes on our chubby little pink bundle. From that second it all just felt so right. But are people sometimes afraid to say that they are scared, because they feel they should be ecstatic? Our SW told us it is more commen for people who waited a long time to take a bit more time to think about it, and to be more conflicted. I also did not know that the adoptive parents also have time to change their minds. As the 60 days were up in our case, by us taking her, this did not make it final, it is only final once the application goes to court. The SW said she would only lodge the application once we asked her to. Well, we fetched L on Friday, Monday the SW lodged the papers! We loved her immediately, and we had bonded by the next day.
I think the fears are normal, after all, parents usually have 9 months to get used to the idea. If you have a pregnant birth mom, you have a few months, but some of us have days! It is scary. How to change your life in 3 days! Despite the fears we had, we have absolutely no regrets. The fears now are the normal ones all parents have. We would adopt again in a flash.

Sam is so cute! Enjoy these early months, they fly by! I always thought this is something people just say, but it is true!

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Re: The astonishing cost of private adoption (not for the fainthearted!)

Post by Bella786 on Tue 15 Dec 2009 - 17:15

Hannah: congrats on your beautiful bundle of joy. May you be abundantly blessed with him always! baby

Michmac: regarding SAASWIPP having set rates that they charge: Our BM was still pregnant and I called around to all the SAASWIPP SW's in Cape Town to see who would be best suited to complete our adoption for us. I can honestly say, that the prices ranged from R3 000 - R25 000 and in the end, they would all complete the same task for us: do our screening and write our court report. Not one would outdo the other in this case.
Clearly, we chose on the lower end of the scale, and I firmly believe (as I've been in the system a very long time), that in some cases (not all), SW's are capitalizing on adoptions as there are so many infertile couples out there. One has to do their homework and research thoroughly before embarking on this journey.

I know of some SW's (private care) that will charge you R25 - R30 K and 'claim' that the BM's hospital fees etc were all included in there, and in the meantime, the mommy gave birth in a gov't hospital. :Unsure Many are legitimate costs, but some can really take you for a ride.

So be weary and research everything in this adoption journey! Smiley
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Re: The astonishing cost of private adoption (not for the fainthearted!)

Post by tracyg on Sat 16 Jan 2010 - 19:34

Ilse that is terrible, awful! Some people just dont understand the implications to the prospective parent sometimes.

Hannah, private adoption sound VERY expensive (not something i could nearly afford...) What would one be looking at cost wise if you went through a normal agency adoption?
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Re: The astonishing cost of private adoption (not for the fainthearted!)

Post by Kerryw on Tue 26 Jan 2010 - 8:43

Wow I never realised that it could come to so much to adopt a child. It is always an idea in the back of my mind. As I have said on other posts I would love a Chinese girl - now is white and indian babies are hard to find how hard are chinese babies??? Seems I may be saving for a trip to china....
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Re: The astonishing cost of private adoption (not for the fainthearted!)

Post by Hannah's Hope on Tue 26 Jan 2010 - 9:43

Hi Kerry,

I honestly think it's going to work out way more expensive than a local private adoption. The only thing is, I think Chinese babies will be more readily available than white or Indian babies here in RSA.

If you are keen on a baby girl. China is the place for you. 98 % of the children up for adoption are female. As you would expect of the People's Republic. Its a bureaucratic process: it takes roughly a year before you can fly to China and have a baby handed over to you in a hotel room. A donation of 1500 pounds to the orphanage plus government fees of 2500 pounds are required (use current exchange rate to convert). Singles and over 50s are not eligible..........
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